Happy New Year everyone! It has been a tough year but I'm glad we've managed to pull through.
About this year, hmm, I can only say I've come to know myself better, and have come to accept myself for who I am. So I can conclude that this year is very important for if I were to skip 2008, I would still be the one with the mask, struggling to fit in.
Special thanks to my clique, I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude. It was through you guys that I feel that for once I can be myself without having to feel weird. Because we accept differences and never impose our views on others, I feel very comfortable when I'm with you guys.
Leng Shan, thanks for being there and supporting me, especially during the period when I was facing some friendship problems. Bestia, thanks for being the sensitive and enthusiastic member of the clique. Although you always exceed your free sms-es, you still continue to keep us updated on the upcoming events. ShaSha, I always felt that we had alot in common so its very easy for me to speak up knowing that somebody understands. So thank you as well. Linda, it takes a super high friend for me to be super high as well. So whenever I'm with you, I'll be super happy and will always cheer up(you know how emo I can get). Thanks. Sze Ying, we know you care even though you arent always there. We'll never blame you because we know that you'll feel sorry that you cant be there for our outings already. Thank you for organising parties at your place. Its very troublesome but you were always ok with it. Meng Li, thanks for all the Bang Bang Tang talks cause you're probably the only person I know who watches it. LOLS. Seok Peng, recently, we've drifted apart, there are so many reasons but I know there is no need for explanations, I'm just glad that you've weijian as your good friend now. YY, although the times spent was very short, I'm glad you joined us. Really enjoyed those times at starbucks and Mac. Weijian, I've known you the longest, although not the closest, a big thank you to you too for encouraging me during As and being the only guy in our clique, I know its not easy, sometimes a little awkward but you make it a point to turn up for most outings. Although there were times when I felt that you didnt treasure the friendship, I eventually became more optimistic. So thank you. =)
Not forgetting friends I have way before the clique:
Brother: I know you will most probably not see this, but I just want to say I'm really glad to have you as a bro and a very good friend. I remember we had a huge fight and we didnt talk for about 6 months. Thankfully we reconciled and started talking again. Ironically though, the first day I started talking to you, YOU GAVE ME CHICKEN POX and I had to stay home for 2 weeks. =.= Haha. I had alot of fun laughing at you. Thanks for being the butt of our jokes. We had fun. Whahaha... The things you say just make me, joleen and gus wanna laugh at you. haha.. Jason and his Macsoso.. Hmm... What to say, we've shown the rest that a guy and a girl can be pure friends despite the futile attempts by Jiawhei to push us tgt(I dont know why). Anyways! I am most comfortable with you because you'll always allow me to be myself! Thanks!
Joleen: Hey girl! We've known each other since sec 1. Remember? You were carrying a briefcase to camp and I kept laughing at you even till now? =)) I'm sorry I couldnt make it for the VB outing, next time ok?! =) You have like the best personality ever and everyone loves you.. So I am very glad to be your friend. You're never angry! Its almost as if I'm acid and you're alkaline, neutralising the atmosphere. I really enjoy the times spent with you gus and jason. Hope this lasts forever!
Gus: We are probably not the closest among this small little group but you're like the leader, and I dont really know why. Haha.. Sorry that we were so indecisive, We'll try to do some serious planning before the next outing~!
Also, my new friends at work, HELLO! Just wanna say I'm really glad to know you all! Work is alot more interesting when you guys are around. Please keep in contact and ask us out soon!!Jesline, my SiSTER!! I really think you're a very warm and funny person! No one can be really sad and angry with you around. Haha, dont get bullied by Jun Yao too often ya?!
2008 will serve as turning point of my growing up journey and a significant part of my memory. I love you all and hope that year 2009 will be as good or even better. Happy new year everyone! Every year has its ups and downs but together we'll get through the tough times and create many wonderful memories. =) Looking forward to 2009 with our clique chalet the first event on the list. =)
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
My Sunday
Hello. Here I am at 10 pm on a beautiful Sunday night, proudly announcing to the whole world that I spent the whole of today watching shows via the internet, cooped up in my little room where I am most comfortable and safe.
Yes, basically I slacked my whole day away. lalalalala...
Whohohoho... Now, a little time indulging in my own fantasies:
Like almost every other teenage girl or maybe even older, I am now obssessed with Twilight and am about to embark in the second book, New Moon. My only regret is that I did not get to catch it in the theater where the effect would have been much greater. Still my love is as strong for a romantic, bloodsucking, super suave immortal whom is willing to die for the love of his life (the catch is..though, errm..he cant die).
I mean, who doesnt yearn for a man to love a woman so much so that he is willing to sacrifice anything just to protect her?! Plus, the fact that everyone is so attracted to this movie clearly shows the lack of existence of such 'GOOD' men. Yes, no doubt, good guys are nearly extinct, where 'nearly' is an understatement to avoid being marked down for fallacies. Goodbye fairytales, we know you dont exist. But at least it gave us hope (with the exception of Sha of course, totally extreme in her point of view), well at least it gave me hope, I'm still looking for my Mr sharp-fanged Edward, but with the consideration that I dont look anything like Bella, I'll accept even if he is less hot~!! Romance aside, the movie, although I've heard many comments that it wasnt as good as the book, etc, its good too!! Lets give the production crew and actors some effort for all the special effects which cannot be truly experienced with a couple of paragraphs from a book off the shelf. I'll bet it took Robert and the crews countless of effort trying to get him to spring from tree to tree carrying 'Bella' on his back looking the least bit tired.
Haha. So the movie is great and my small little paragraph ends here as I have to spend the rest of tonight finally stepping out of the house to get something in the newly opened supermarket! Enough of those fantasies, and tomorrow I shall resume my rigid work life secretly hoping to see Superman fly past someday.
Yes, basically I slacked my whole day away. lalalalala...
Whohohoho... Now, a little time indulging in my own fantasies:
Like almost every other teenage girl or maybe even older, I am now obssessed with Twilight and am about to embark in the second book, New Moon. My only regret is that I did not get to catch it in the theater where the effect would have been much greater. Still my love is as strong for a romantic, bloodsucking, super suave immortal whom is willing to die for the love of his life (the catch is..though, errm..he cant die).
I mean, who doesnt yearn for a man to love a woman so much so that he is willing to sacrifice anything just to protect her?! Plus, the fact that everyone is so attracted to this movie clearly shows the lack of existence of such 'GOOD' men. Yes, no doubt, good guys are nearly extinct, where 'nearly' is an understatement to avoid being marked down for fallacies. Goodbye fairytales, we know you dont exist. But at least it gave us hope (with the exception of Sha of course, totally extreme in her point of view), well at least it gave me hope, I'm still looking for my Mr sharp-fanged Edward, but with the consideration that I dont look anything like Bella, I'll accept even if he is less hot~!! Romance aside, the movie, although I've heard many comments that it wasnt as good as the book, etc, its good too!! Lets give the production crew and actors some effort for all the special effects which cannot be truly experienced with a couple of paragraphs from a book off the shelf. I'll bet it took Robert and the crews countless of effort trying to get him to spring from tree to tree carrying 'Bella' on his back looking the least bit tired.
Haha. So the movie is great and my small little paragraph ends here as I have to spend the rest of tonight finally stepping out of the house to get something in the newly opened supermarket! Enough of those fantasies, and tomorrow I shall resume my rigid work life secretly hoping to see Superman fly past someday.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
me me me me
Quarrelled with my mum today. Again. Probably because I had too much time at home to engage in some meaningless verbal 'entertainment'. I hate it when my mum ends it with 'I'm not a good mum', because I'll be so guilty and I cant put all the blame on her. So the fault is on me right now. Sad and filled with guilt, all I can do is blog.
Wanted to swim but the pool is crowded with judgemental 'skin and bones people'. So my whole day is ruin with nothing to do.
I know it was wrong to argue but I still do it. I cant control myself. I detest and abhor myself.
Yes, I'm so proud.
I'm too defensive.
I'm, of course, very sensitive.
I doubt I'll ever have good friends.
I secretly wished I didnt have such a good life. So I have other things to complain about than my family.
I've never allowed anyone into my world.
They either cant or dont bother.
I'm narcissistic.
I love myself too much.
I hate portraits of myself. So untrue.
I'm a devil inside. I know.
I cant set my mind right.
I'm so filled with flaws
and yet I think I'm perfect at times. All the time.
I'm going crazy soon. And I blame it on the genes.
Its never my fault.
Ha, what a daughter
Ha, I shouldnt be here.
Wanted to swim but the pool is crowded with judgemental 'skin and bones people'. So my whole day is ruin with nothing to do.
I know it was wrong to argue but I still do it. I cant control myself. I detest and abhor myself.
Yes, I'm so proud.
I'm too defensive.
I'm, of course, very sensitive.
I doubt I'll ever have good friends.
I secretly wished I didnt have such a good life. So I have other things to complain about than my family.
I've never allowed anyone into my world.
They either cant or dont bother.
I'm narcissistic.
I love myself too much.
I hate portraits of myself. So untrue.
I'm a devil inside. I know.
I cant set my mind right.
I'm so filled with flaws
and yet I think I'm perfect at times. All the time.
I'm going crazy soon. And I blame it on the genes.
Its never my fault.
Ha, what a daughter
Ha, I shouldnt be here.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Happy Birthday Jason!
It is 3am and here I am, fat like shit from all that beer. Sinful~~
Really enjoyed myself today. Havent had a gathering in years!!
Going Suntanning tmr and gotta wake up at 6 plus. Dont really think I'll be able to make it. =S
Off to watch my drama serials!
Really enjoyed myself today. Havent had a gathering in years!!
Going Suntanning tmr and gotta wake up at 6 plus. Dont really think I'll be able to make it. =S
Off to watch my drama serials!
Friday, December 5, 2008
What have I been doing?
With Sarah and WoonTing
Victoria and SiewPing
Webster. He should be the prom king lar!
The famous four
The "Gang"
Not forgetting to be unglam. Just a little.
eh? Same pic.. Haha.
Lonely and self-entertaining.
A little blur.. HAHA.. We look better when its BLURRED.
Nth much to say. boring dinner. Linda is gone again!!
Hello!~ I've been enjoying every single day, engaging myself in fulfilling activities so that I do not have time to emo my life away and regret later. Glad to announce that I'm loving every minute. OKay lar, not really but almost.. =D
OK to start of with the most significant, I went to the prom. Although I cant really boast to Szeying and Lengs that they are going to regret not going, I can only say that its really an experience. Marking a point in your life. Meaningless, meaningful.. You decide.
My prom experience was one of mixed feelings. I was glad that I didnt have to spend extra money on make up and hair-do like the rest and was able to come up with something decent. I think I overdressed, abit, but its ok. The food was quite good. At least there wasnt much to complain lar.
I think the fun part was more of the shopping part rather than the day itself. Through prom, I was able to spend more time with my friends, esp bestia cause she was my shopping partner and all those friendship talks was really interesting and meaningful.
The day itself was only eating and photo taking. Phototaking was sick because I didnt have much friends and I was very much in my own world which was one of the driving point which encouraged me not to go for prom. My prediction came true and I had to keep myself busy most of the time so as not to feel so weird.
But if there is anything really bad... Its the 'after' activities. I guess Bestia, Linda and Shasha all know WHY!! I'm sorry. I'm really very disappointed that we couldnt go to Balcony because we had all discussed about this. I cant stand roaming ard the streets and go seven eleven to buy drinks like underage kids pretending to be like adults. Then having no where to rest, the four pathetic girls roam somemore to find a seat along the stairs with our heels. Its pathetic and it shouldnt be the case when we've done serious planning. I'm not going to pretend to be Miss Understanding and I'm going to remain pissed for the next few days!!! I'm not going to ton anymore outside when we dont have a proper place to rest. period.
Was talking to Bestia and ShaSha and Bestia brought up the fact that now that its holidays and all, the clique will be quite separated. Actually I think this is a pretty good thing. I know ppl reading this may have some doubts but look at it this way, we've always encountered problems defining our clique because we assume that the ppl we are with in school is our clique but yet some of them are not really there for outings and all. SInce its the holidays, take this opportunity to see who remains and who leaves. Separation does not mean the end, it'll only make things clearer. I personally feel that if she is a friend, you dont even have to try to contact her because she is always there. Thats just how I feel la. Plus, taking friendship out of school also allows you to choose your company. So I like the holidays. I'm surrounded by those whom I wanna be with and I enjoy their company!! =D
Here I want to clarify that although I do have some strong views against certain issues, I am not always stubborn in my point of view. Certain things I'm able to give and take and hear a second opinion. I dont feel that being stubborn is bad, but I am not always stubborn as well. Definitely I will fight for my point. I mean, who doesnt feel that their point is right? But I like to listen to other opinions (thats what conversations are for right?) PLus, Yes, I do detest ppl who judge me without knowing anything about me.
Right now, I'm pondering whether I'm actually bothered by insensitivity.. hmm..
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Lucido-L
Argh! Oh my Oh my! My Hair! I cant say its horrible BUT!!~~ NOOOO... Makes me look like some ah lian wannabe.
That being so, Lucido-L is really good. Although its not 48 hours yet and I do not know if my head will itch like hell later, the after colour conditioner makes your hair smoother than before! Whahahaha..
Still,............. HAIZ.
Off to watch some dramas!! ^-^
That being so, Lucido-L is really good. Although its not 48 hours yet and I do not know if my head will itch like hell later, the after colour conditioner makes your hair smoother than before! Whahahaha..
Still,............. HAIZ.
Off to watch some dramas!! ^-^
Sunday, November 23, 2008
holidays
I love holidays! Even though I feel so lost right now..
What am I going to do tomorrow? Hmm..
I dont want to think about my results anymore. Cambridge, please trust me.. I will work harder in UNI!!
Now is the time to enjoy and have fun! Whahahaha.. Yes! Augus is going to travel with us! There is hope that we might actually go somewhere.
It depends on the number of people going anyway. If we have alot of people going, a resort will be quite fun, but if its just the few of us, a resort might be too boring. =(
I hope recruit express does not draw commissions from me or I'll have a lesser income.
I think I should look for other alternatives so I'm going to try my luck again tomorrow. Hopefully somebody will feel that I'm capable of taking on the job and hire me at a reasonable pay! Woohoo!!
money money money.... Its a rich man's world....
Happy Holidays!!
What am I going to do tomorrow? Hmm..
I dont want to think about my results anymore. Cambridge, please trust me.. I will work harder in UNI!!
Now is the time to enjoy and have fun! Whahahaha.. Yes! Augus is going to travel with us! There is hope that we might actually go somewhere.
It depends on the number of people going anyway. If we have alot of people going, a resort will be quite fun, but if its just the few of us, a resort might be too boring. =(
I hope recruit express does not draw commissions from me or I'll have a lesser income.
I think I should look for other alternatives so I'm going to try my luck again tomorrow. Hopefully somebody will feel that I'm capable of taking on the job and hire me at a reasonable pay! Woohoo!!
money money money.... Its a rich man's world....
Happy Holidays!!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
not again...
Tonight, I'm having dark thoughts again.
Basically because I have too much time to 'emo' myself away and reflect upon my past experiences.
But tonight, I've forgotten why I was contented by just being me.
I guess I've realised that maybe the problem lies in me.
"Nobody understands" - Perhaps because I've never really wanted them to. But who cares.
I hate being so sensitive.
Convinced that I can see through all. So sure that I'm right.
Even now as I'm typing this, I still think so.
"why do you think that of me?!"
Basically because I have too much time to 'emo' myself away and reflect upon my past experiences.
But tonight, I've forgotten why I was contented by just being me.
I guess I've realised that maybe the problem lies in me.
"Nobody understands" - Perhaps because I've never really wanted them to. But who cares.
I hate being so sensitive.
Convinced that I can see through all. So sure that I'm right.
Even now as I'm typing this, I still think so.
"why do you think that of me?!"
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Chestnuts
One of the most obvious signs that I love my friends is that I'm constantly reminded of them whenever I see something somehow in association, be it in the character traits, appearance, etc..
So yesterday I was happily eating chestnuts that my ever so thoughtful mum bought for me.
It was an enjoyable experience until I decided to break one of the chestnuts into half and then having the most perfect eyesight, I saw a squirmy little thing in right in the middle. On further examination(touching and all), I realised that it was a dead and roasted maggot (it didnt take too long).
So the main point is.. I thought of Sze Ying. =D
After which I spent the next few hours in serious discussion with my maid on the origins of that roasted maggot. She insisted that there was a hole in the Chestnut and somehow the egg got inside the chestnut and grew into a maggot. I, on the other hand, was very sure that it was the end product of a forbidden love between Mr Mag and Ms Chessy.
=END=
So yesterday I was happily eating chestnuts that my ever so thoughtful mum bought for me.
It was an enjoyable experience until I decided to break one of the chestnuts into half and then having the most perfect eyesight, I saw a squirmy little thing in right in the middle. On further examination(touching and all), I realised that it was a dead and roasted maggot (it didnt take too long).
So the main point is.. I thought of Sze Ying. =D
After which I spent the next few hours in serious discussion with my maid on the origins of that roasted maggot. She insisted that there was a hole in the Chestnut and somehow the egg got inside the chestnut and grew into a maggot. I, on the other hand, was very sure that it was the end product of a forbidden love between Mr Mag and Ms Chessy.
=END=
Monday, October 13, 2008
YY's Birthday.
Yes! Here it is! The end result of our commendable effort at planning this wonderful day. In my opinion, it turned out well. Hoped everyone enjoyed themselves, esp the bday girl. =)
Star of the day....none other than the ever so pretty... YY!
Star of the day....none other than the ever so pretty... YY!
Hmm... Have we forgotten that THIS IS MY HOUSE! (whoa... relaxed huh..)
At some ulu pub with a waiter that doesnt understand English...and we had to choose a seat near the toilet. X___X
Yes. my friends are models. esp the one on the right.
Hmm... people call her 'BIMBO'.. and I wonder why...............
+++++The End+++++
Monday, October 6, 2008
Thoughts
Why do birds fly when ants crawl?
Why do people bask under the lights of fame while others fight for a piece of bread?
Why do we need answers?
He who fights finds joy in the slightest achievement of a crumb and the ants gratified in the sand..
Why do people bask under the lights of fame while others fight for a piece of bread?
Why do we need answers?
He who fights finds joy in the slightest achievement of a crumb and the ants gratified in the sand..
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Little pleasures.
Hectic day today but its all worth it. =)
---> my dumb look.
Thumbs Up!
Had dinner with Joleen and Jason at sushi tei
---> my dumb look.Good food with great friends..
Feels like heaven.
'Tomorrow is a brand new day!' says Joleen
Yes.. Looking forward to more quality time spent with them!
Thumbs Up!'If we hold on together, I know our dreams will never die.'
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
lalala.... life goes on...
Happy happy belated birthday to Linda, Mengli and Szeying.
I am not going to post any pictures since my friends have done so and its all the same.
Someday... I'm not going to be unglam!
Anyways. Everyone is back to studying mode which makes me wonder why I'm still here. Recently a few of us have drifted and due to study breaks, we seldom see each other that much. This brings me back to isolation mode again and thank god I'm completely used to it.
A random thought ran through my mind a while ago while I was showering.. Since I'm not a fan of crowds, why not travel alone? o.0.. I was really excited until I remember that it means sleeping in a hotel room all by myself.. =S Scary...
Still, just a little digression.. Good for the soul~~
18 jin bu jin is surprising good.. Hmm.. and eastyle certainly deserves more recognition and fame. Woo hoo.. hot hot hot
Saturday, September 20, 2008
On an emotional day like this..
You feel like staying indoors, hiding below your thick, warm blanket and enjoying the comfort of being alone.
But no, you're out in this cold heartless world where everyone watches your every move, so ready to stike. Masked with a friendly smile and pleasant features, she carries a knife behind her back, and catches you unaware..
You're vulnerable, you're weak. You stumble, you fall. You cry against a cracked wall, fingers streaming down the lines of imperfection. You hear laughters behind your back, you hear footsteps getting louder.
You turn and they march nearer, uniformed and synchronised. 1 2 1 2 playing a lifeless melody, they uncover their masks to reveal years of jealousy, hatred, narcissism and anger.
Your heart tells you to run, your body wouldnt listen. You stay right where you are, eyes closed, awaiting your doom.
Stab, stab.
Blood against the cracked walls, filling up the ugly gaps. They clean up the place, wear their masks and await the next victim.
But no, you're out in this cold heartless world where everyone watches your every move, so ready to stike. Masked with a friendly smile and pleasant features, she carries a knife behind her back, and catches you unaware..
You're vulnerable, you're weak. You stumble, you fall. You cry against a cracked wall, fingers streaming down the lines of imperfection. You hear laughters behind your back, you hear footsteps getting louder.
You turn and they march nearer, uniformed and synchronised. 1 2 1 2 playing a lifeless melody, they uncover their masks to reveal years of jealousy, hatred, narcissism and anger.
Your heart tells you to run, your body wouldnt listen. You stay right where you are, eyes closed, awaiting your doom.
Stab, stab.
Blood against the cracked walls, filling up the ugly gaps. They clean up the place, wear their masks and await the next victim.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Happy Birthday Linda!!
Ahh... Its been a long time since we went out as a group. Yesterday was fun! =) Happy Birthday Linda!
What seven weeks to As? and I'm working as if there is seven months left. Tsk tsk.... No. I will make it through and those who used to laugh at me retaining can have their teeth all knocked out!
What is Karma? Does Karma still happen to a person who realises his mistakes and had changed for the better? If this is so, why do some other people, who are unrepentent, not get their karma and gets away with gloating over others' misfortunes? I guess in this world it is never fair, no matter how hard we try to achieve equality.
Money Money Money..... need some money.... money money money.... piggy bank is empty....
haiz, I'm losing hair.......................... Nooooo.................... Off to cut vegetables. Bye.
What seven weeks to As? and I'm working as if there is seven months left. Tsk tsk.... No. I will make it through and those who used to laugh at me retaining can have their teeth all knocked out!
What is Karma? Does Karma still happen to a person who realises his mistakes and had changed for the better? If this is so, why do some other people, who are unrepentent, not get their karma and gets away with gloating over others' misfortunes? I guess in this world it is never fair, no matter how hard we try to achieve equality.
Money Money Money..... need some money.... money money money.... piggy bank is empty....
haiz, I'm losing hair.......................... Nooooo.................... Off to cut vegetables. Bye.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
The late starter
Hello.. After a few days of quality time spent, I shall now declare that the good times are over! (I'm a late starter I know.. )
Tomorrow I'm going to study with my dear friends at west coast Mac.. =) As unproductive as it may be, It will be fun so its worth it (fun + study= rare).
Goodbye holidays~~ I will miss you...
Brought my sis to Science Centre today. $6 per pax is damn ex considering that I have to pay for myself, my maid and my sis. There is really nothing much to see actually and the stimulator is GONE?!?! awww man... I remember as an active primary school kid, I used to run with a few of my classmates to the stimulator, throw(literally) 2 bucks at the man and quickly grab a seat(in the front row of course). Then I will proceed with upholding my reputation of the 'daredevil' by not holding on to the bars. Cool okay.. My friends would all be like screaming and theres me at the side, smirking.. HEHHEH.
Wanted to watch the OCEAN in the Omni theatre but that would mean burning a big hole in my pocket. So I gave the idea up.
Tsk............ I have to confide in somebody! I'm SCARED!!~~~ AHHHH.. BUT I HAVE TO DO IT! Come on Stella! You shouldnt have to be scared. JUST STAY STRONG, FIRM, and all will be fine. It will be fun. Just keep telling that to yourself... okay.. okay.. I can do this.. right..
My BOss My Hero is super funny.. :S!! WANQING IF YOU SEE THIS, YOU'RE RIGHT!! ITS SUPER FUNNY. Erm.. actually not that funny, but entertaining.. =)
Oh yes, took this in science centre. Says: Plastic Surgery on the top... WHO WANTS TO GO FOR PLASTIC SURGERY IF THIS IS THE END RESULT?!?!?~~
That is probably the only fun thing in science centre.. Zzz.. Oh.. and the disturbing scene of the eel eating a guppy.. 'Gross' said a small boy standing next to me.
Goodnight.. =)
Tomorrow I'm going to study with my dear friends at west coast Mac.. =) As unproductive as it may be, It will be fun so its worth it (fun + study= rare).
Goodbye holidays~~ I will miss you...
Brought my sis to Science Centre today. $6 per pax is damn ex considering that I have to pay for myself, my maid and my sis. There is really nothing much to see actually and the stimulator is GONE?!?! awww man... I remember as an active primary school kid, I used to run with a few of my classmates to the stimulator, throw(literally) 2 bucks at the man and quickly grab a seat(in the front row of course). Then I will proceed with upholding my reputation of the 'daredevil' by not holding on to the bars. Cool okay.. My friends would all be like screaming and theres me at the side, smirking.. HEHHEH.
Wanted to watch the OCEAN in the Omni theatre but that would mean burning a big hole in my pocket. So I gave the idea up.
Tsk............ I have to confide in somebody! I'm SCARED!!~~~ AHHHH.. BUT I HAVE TO DO IT! Come on Stella! You shouldnt have to be scared. JUST STAY STRONG, FIRM, and all will be fine. It will be fun. Just keep telling that to yourself... okay.. okay.. I can do this.. right..
My BOss My Hero is super funny.. :S!! WANQING IF YOU SEE THIS, YOU'RE RIGHT!! ITS SUPER FUNNY. Erm.. actually not that funny, but entertaining.. =)
Oh yes, took this in science centre. Says: Plastic Surgery on the top... WHO WANTS TO GO FOR PLASTIC SURGERY IF THIS IS THE END RESULT?!?!?~~
That is probably the only fun thing in science centre.. Zzz.. Oh.. and the disturbing scene of the eel eating a guppy.. 'Gross' said a small boy standing next to me.
Goodnight.. =)
Monday, September 1, 2008
Interpals
If ever you feel bored and a sudden urge to know more people from abroad. Please just go to interpals. You get really nice people. Erm.. Of course with the exception of some.
Its real FUN and I've been online the whole day chatting with them. Real cool. thumbs up!
Of course there are other websites, like the one lengs go to. BUT THIS IS THE BEST. and only because I'm in it. WHahahahahahahahahaha.. It feels as if I've been to 5 countries in a day!!
Yes! Going to get an MP3 tomorrow. Thanks big sis!! And thanks to mummy for the tv~! WHAHAHAHAHAHA.. O happy day!!~~
BUT LINDA. I'm STILL going to post your UNGLAM(although its not very unglam but thats the worst I could get) 小叮噹 Pic:
Ha! Theres more to come. Just you wait! Qia Char bo! X____X
Friday, August 29, 2008
Yay! Prelims are finally over! So we are blessed with a few days of slacking and getting in touch with our long lost friend, "LIFE".
Studying at Mac Sucks! Its noisy, scary(lizards), and super sinful(all the knowledge goes to your waist)! But ya.. Its fun and all.. Good to have a little noise and some interesting sights(saw this cute little boy at science centre mac, assuring his 'girlfriend' that the mcnuggets was nice.. Haha).
Overall, Mac is still the best choice.
Thanks to Linda, I dont have to post any pictures. =)
Going to the 10 dollar ktv later. A little reluctant although its considered 'cheap'... "$10 is still money okay!" lols..
Oh wells, Hope its worth the money..
I am seriously tempted to go to the following places:
-science centre cum omni theatre
-zoo
-night safari
-underwater world
-songs of the sea beach pub
Yes! Thats about it! =) =) =)
Studying at Mac Sucks! Its noisy, scary(lizards), and super sinful(all the knowledge goes to your waist)! But ya.. Its fun and all.. Good to have a little noise and some interesting sights(saw this cute little boy at science centre mac, assuring his 'girlfriend' that the mcnuggets was nice.. Haha).
Overall, Mac is still the best choice.
Thanks to Linda, I dont have to post any pictures. =)
Going to the 10 dollar ktv later. A little reluctant although its considered 'cheap'... "$10 is still money okay!" lols..
Oh wells, Hope its worth the money..
I am seriously tempted to go to the following places:
-science centre cum omni theatre
-zoo
-night safari
-underwater world
-songs of the sea beach pub
Yes! Thats about it! =) =) =)
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Thoughts
This is the period where lethargy sets in and your soul travels to another place beyond these confined walls, in a place you deemed as paradise.
Ahh.... Sick of examinations. Wished I had completed As, which I should have.
Random: Theres a saying which goes like this, ' Do not do to others what you do not want yourself.' Something along that line.. Yes. So true. Hope Karma exists.
Damn, its literature exam tomorrow and I havent touched Lit at all. So its a gone case for me.. WHee... DIE DIE DIE(not like I would do well if I did study anyway).
Aww man. Totally forgot that there is an econs test this friday! alamak! I was slacking for the past few days luh!
Today wasnt very productive as I only managed to cover Japan's economic problems and now I've forgotten half of it so I think I might have to re-read again tomorrow. What a waste of time to have short-term memory. My mind is too filled up with crappy stuff to store in the important infos! NNOOOOO............ Please expand the capacity of my memory(but not the size of my head)!! Please Let me be equipped with supersonic brain cells and speedy writing abilities! Please.. Let me wake up tomorrow and be the guru of the arts!!
Ahh.... Sick of examinations. Wished I had completed As, which I should have.
Random: Theres a saying which goes like this, ' Do not do to others what you do not want yourself.' Something along that line.. Yes. So true. Hope Karma exists.
Damn, its literature exam tomorrow and I havent touched Lit at all. So its a gone case for me.. WHee... DIE DIE DIE(not like I would do well if I did study anyway).
Aww man. Totally forgot that there is an econs test this friday! alamak! I was slacking for the past few days luh!
Today wasnt very productive as I only managed to cover Japan's economic problems and now I've forgotten half of it so I think I might have to re-read again tomorrow. What a waste of time to have short-term memory. My mind is too filled up with crappy stuff to store in the important infos! NNOOOOO............ Please expand the capacity of my memory(but not the size of my head)!! Please Let me be equipped with supersonic brain cells and speedy writing abilities! Please.. Let me wake up tomorrow and be the guru of the arts!!
Friday, August 8, 2008
Study Break
Studying sucks. Especially when its not productive. Then you wonder why you even studied at all. Hmm, maybe because I was watching Batman at the same time. :s .. Well whatever.
Somebody - shoot me. Its friday and I havent really done much studying. COME ON ITS STUDY BREAK FOR A REASON! Somehow subconsciously I've omitted the word 'study' and paid more attention to the 'break'.
Recent Addiction: Phoenix Wright and retail therapy.
Anyways, today was fun, met up with Jason and Joleen. Saw Haris. Its quality time spent. Toured around Ngee Ann. Cool Place, they have everything. That stupid Jason had to curse me when we passed by S*M. Saying that its my future school! SHIT MAN! CHOI CHOI CHOI!!!
On wednesday, the girls came over to my place and we went swimming. Took some pictures but for obvious reasons I'm not going to put it up. Dont want to scare anyone you see..
Alrights, time to rest. Tomorrow is another tiring day! Gotta pray my granddad and I have to celebrate Grandma's bday on sunday. Havent gotten a present yet. =)
Happy Birthday SINGAPORE! WIN LOTS OF MEDALS IN THE BEIJING OLYMPICS!!!
Somebody - shoot me. Its friday and I havent really done much studying. COME ON ITS STUDY BREAK FOR A REASON! Somehow subconsciously I've omitted the word 'study' and paid more attention to the 'break'.
Recent Addiction: Phoenix Wright and retail therapy.
Anyways, today was fun, met up with Jason and Joleen. Saw Haris. Its quality time spent. Toured around Ngee Ann. Cool Place, they have everything. That stupid Jason had to curse me when we passed by S*M. Saying that its my future school! SHIT MAN! CHOI CHOI CHOI!!!
On wednesday, the girls came over to my place and we went swimming. Took some pictures but for obvious reasons I'm not going to put it up. Dont want to scare anyone you see..
Alrights, time to rest. Tomorrow is another tiring day! Gotta pray my granddad and I have to celebrate Grandma's bday on sunday. Havent gotten a present yet. =)
Happy Birthday SINGAPORE! WIN LOTS OF MEDALS IN THE BEIJING OLYMPICS!!!
Friday, August 1, 2008
Away
Someday I'm going to float away on an island where they actually find fat and ugly people attractive. Heh.
Damn! I've got limited(no) talents~! No way! Argh.. Its okay, I'm just being humble lah.. Whahaha....
Someday I will be queen. Queen of the land Hakaluttamogadushu. Yep thats right.
Lesson of the day: Sometimes, we should accept criticisms and nasty words and work towards a better self.
Hmm.. Feel like spending the morning at the botannical gardens all of a sudden. A random urge to get in touch with nature after a week of fast paced city life and lots of polluted air.
Damn! I've got limited(no) talents~! No way! Argh.. Its okay, I'm just being humble lah.. Whahaha....
Someday I will be queen. Queen of the land Hakaluttamogadushu. Yep thats right.
Lesson of the day: Sometimes, we should accept criticisms and nasty words and work towards a better self.
Hmm.. Feel like spending the morning at the botannical gardens all of a sudden. A random urge to get in touch with nature after a week of fast paced city life and lots of polluted air.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
31st August
Today's lesson: Humans are all selfish, just dont feed the dog that bites.
While you try your best to stitch up others' wounds, there they are carving their knives.
Just a random thought, theres no explanation for it.
recent addiction: ice bandung and psp.
I think instead of trying to be 'the great saint', I'd rather be myself. hate it, leave it.
Just dont talk behind my back alright?
I wonder if people know 'limits', sometimes I dont think I do. *shakes head
and sometimes people do take things for granted. Most of the time actually... Until a day comes when all is gone....
Tomorrow is the official end to boring lessons! Let it be a fun day without people ruining it.
While you try your best to stitch up others' wounds, there they are carving their knives.
Just a random thought, theres no explanation for it.
recent addiction: ice bandung and psp.
I think instead of trying to be 'the great saint', I'd rather be myself. hate it, leave it.
Just dont talk behind my back alright?
I wonder if people know 'limits', sometimes I dont think I do. *shakes head
and sometimes people do take things for granted. Most of the time actually... Until a day comes when all is gone....
Tomorrow is the official end to boring lessons! Let it be a fun day without people ruining it.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Alamak!
Haha.. 'Alamak!' Is the new cool word! And before somebody steals this... COPYRIGHT! :)
Anyways, I was intending to post some fantastic pictures of my Genting trip but because the pictures are in my lappy and I'm using the desktop, I shall blog about something else.
Haha. Stole this picture from Lengs. Yep, indeed the times spent with them is undeniably one of the best things throughout my JC life. I've never regretted (and I never will) knowing this bunch of crazy little girls of very different backgrounds coming together and having loads of fun. Even at this point in time, when we are supposed to be terribly stressed out and restless, yet they made this period enjoyable as well. We study, we play and we helped each other along the way. Nobody gets left out and everyone is free to share their problems. gloomy days and pissy moods, we'll walk it through. =)
Just recently, a friend of mine was talking to me about friendships and this got me thinking: 'How sure are you that you're being treated as a good friend over there?'.
And now I think I know. I know, because my friend, it really isnt how they really feel about you, but how they make you think they feel about you. With them, you just know that they'll be there. Yes, they all have best friends out there somewhere which they probably treasure more, but at least they dont make you feel left out, they dont make you sad, they care about you, they dont take you for granted and they make you feel that we can just spend quality time together without anyone else. Its not always me me me, but us. You probably dont understand still, but with them I feel loved and I feel that they enjoyed my presence. No pretense necessary and no selfish moments. I am free and happy.
Thanks guys.
Today's Date(so anti climax.. tsk!): 30th July
Anyways, I was intending to post some fantastic pictures of my Genting trip but because the pictures are in my lappy and I'm using the desktop, I shall blog about something else.
Haha. Stole this picture from Lengs. Yep, indeed the times spent with them is undeniably one of the best things throughout my JC life. I've never regretted (and I never will) knowing this bunch of crazy little girls of very different backgrounds coming together and having loads of fun. Even at this point in time, when we are supposed to be terribly stressed out and restless, yet they made this period enjoyable as well. We study, we play and we helped each other along the way. Nobody gets left out and everyone is free to share their problems. gloomy days and pissy moods, we'll walk it through. =)
Just recently, a friend of mine was talking to me about friendships and this got me thinking: 'How sure are you that you're being treated as a good friend over there?'.
And now I think I know. I know, because my friend, it really isnt how they really feel about you, but how they make you think they feel about you. With them, you just know that they'll be there. Yes, they all have best friends out there somewhere which they probably treasure more, but at least they dont make you feel left out, they dont make you sad, they care about you, they dont take you for granted and they make you feel that we can just spend quality time together without anyone else. Its not always me me me, but us. You probably dont understand still, but with them I feel loved and I feel that they enjoyed my presence. No pretense necessary and no selfish moments. I am free and happy.
Thanks guys.
Today's Date(so anti climax.. tsk!): 30th July
Thursday, July 17, 2008
The way things are
In just one night, I've lost 4 people. Of which all thinks I'm a tyrant, 1 hates me, 1 is angry, 1 is a victim under my tyranny and 1 just follows the crowd and none bothers to do anything about it..
and life goes on...
Just so you know, I'm not going to do anything either. It cant always be me.
and Just for the record, tyrants do get hurt.. (at least in my case I'm sure..)
Blogging is seriously getting better. I feel so much better now.
ahh.... life goes on.. and on.. and on..
ok! Off to disturb my little sis! =))))
and life goes on...
Just so you know, I'm not going to do anything either. It cant always be me.
and Just for the record, tyrants do get hurt.. (at least in my case I'm sure..)
Blogging is seriously getting better. I feel so much better now.
ahh.... life goes on.. and on.. and on..
ok! Off to disturb my little sis! =))))
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Sorrow slips away
The sky is clear now, I've just walked through another storm, and feeling much better now. The problem isnt exactly solved, but I'm back to where I was before, and I'm not going to let it get into me again.
Thanks to my friends who are always by my side, ready to listen, and advice. I wonder when was the last time somebody cared. But now, at least I know they do. Blessed I must say I am.
I think I'm a very stubborn person. I like to do things my way and it doesnt really please people at times. SO sorry for the disagreements but I'm glad you guys voiced out. Its always good to listen to the other side of the story. But of course, its also comforting to know that somebody agrees with you as well.
Special thanks to Sha Sha and Lengs who have been with me throughout my emo days, listening to my problems. =)
and of course theres Sze ying... Who is always there as well...
and the rest who made school less stressful and more fun. =)
OK thats about it..
Thanks to my friends who are always by my side, ready to listen, and advice. I wonder when was the last time somebody cared. But now, at least I know they do. Blessed I must say I am.
I think I'm a very stubborn person. I like to do things my way and it doesnt really please people at times. SO sorry for the disagreements but I'm glad you guys voiced out. Its always good to listen to the other side of the story. But of course, its also comforting to know that somebody agrees with you as well.
Special thanks to Sha Sha and Lengs who have been with me throughout my emo days, listening to my problems. =)
and of course theres Sze ying... Who is always there as well...
and the rest who made school less stressful and more fun. =)
OK thats about it..
Friday, July 11, 2008
A reply to a comment
Here's what I have to say:
There has been a thousand things going through my mind recently. On certain days I dont even feel like talking, doing work or even move.
I thank you for the comment, but I must admit, your words do hurt.
Because I feel that you dont understand.. still.
My greatest regret was to pour out all my feelings, because it made things worse.
I wished I could just endure a little longer, but I cant.
Cause it hurts and nobody understands.
People like to help when they see their friends having problems, but sometimes, its good to ask first before you confront the other party.
Now I cant help but feel a little awkward when I am talking to you guys.
And sometimes all we want is just a listening ear.
Nothing more.
I do care alot
and thats why I am unhappy.
I didnt want to say it, cause I know it'll leak
and true enough.
I know, 'dont think too much' is all you'll say
But have you all thought about it......'CAN I??'
There is a reason why I see things the way they are.
Nobody can be sure if I'm thinking too much or if its really as I've said
Thats the way I am.
I notice little actions
Because they tell the truth.
Unexpectedly
And deliberate actions, are just how the person wants to portray themselves as.
I'm not trying to act philosophical here, just trying to make you understand me.
I'm not the 'what you see is what you get' kind of person.
So you may think I'm weird, scary and not very approachable.
Because I hardly relate my feelings to others, but recently I've been opening up.
DIdnt work
I'm sorry for scaring you today. Was feeling abit pissed so my tone became a little harsh, although I didnt mean for it to come out this way.
I do not want to salvage anything because it is useless.
not because I dont care.
If I didnt care I wouldnt feel so sad.
I wouldnt have to waste the tears.
I wouldnt have to stare at my work with my head and heart somewhere else.
and ironically, I was sad because I thought others didnt care.
Life, takes you by the hand, then throws you off the cliff.
I'm on bad terms with almost everyone now. Friends I used to treasure very much.
A part of me doesnt want to remain like this. So I dont want any changes because I'll get sad again.. Then whats the point? Maybe its my fault and my emo, over reacting thoughts and actions. But thats just me. WHY DOESNT ANYONE UNDERSTAND?!
Ignorance is BLISS. Insensitivity is JOY.
There has been a thousand things going through my mind recently. On certain days I dont even feel like talking, doing work or even move.
I thank you for the comment, but I must admit, your words do hurt.
Because I feel that you dont understand.. still.
My greatest regret was to pour out all my feelings, because it made things worse.
I wished I could just endure a little longer, but I cant.
Cause it hurts and nobody understands.
People like to help when they see their friends having problems, but sometimes, its good to ask first before you confront the other party.
Now I cant help but feel a little awkward when I am talking to you guys.
And sometimes all we want is just a listening ear.
Nothing more.
I do care alot
and thats why I am unhappy.
I didnt want to say it, cause I know it'll leak
and true enough.
I know, 'dont think too much' is all you'll say
But have you all thought about it......'CAN I??'
There is a reason why I see things the way they are.
Nobody can be sure if I'm thinking too much or if its really as I've said
Thats the way I am.
I notice little actions
Because they tell the truth.
Unexpectedly
And deliberate actions, are just how the person wants to portray themselves as.
I'm not trying to act philosophical here, just trying to make you understand me.
I'm not the 'what you see is what you get' kind of person.
So you may think I'm weird, scary and not very approachable.
Because I hardly relate my feelings to others, but recently I've been opening up.
DIdnt work
I'm sorry for scaring you today. Was feeling abit pissed so my tone became a little harsh, although I didnt mean for it to come out this way.
I do not want to salvage anything because it is useless.
not because I dont care.
If I didnt care I wouldnt feel so sad.
I wouldnt have to waste the tears.
I wouldnt have to stare at my work with my head and heart somewhere else.
and ironically, I was sad because I thought others didnt care.
Life, takes you by the hand, then throws you off the cliff.
I'm on bad terms with almost everyone now. Friends I used to treasure very much.
A part of me doesnt want to remain like this. So I dont want any changes because I'll get sad again.. Then whats the point? Maybe its my fault and my emo, over reacting thoughts and actions. But thats just me. WHY DOESNT ANYONE UNDERSTAND?!
Ignorance is BLISS. Insensitivity is JOY.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Me and my self centred life.
Once again, a sad post. Once again..
Finally, like everyone else I know, I'm going to be selfish for the benefit of my soul.
Its almost over now, and I guess now is the time to truly let go. There is no point in holding on to something you feel sad with. I cant walk on anymore, I'm paranoid, I'm depressed and I'm thinking too much.
Perhaps I read a little too much into things. But am I wrong? I think my reasoning makes sense, its not a stubborn thought. I'm just very confident about this. How sure are you? Someday in time you'll see what I see, know the secrets that I've been keeping and truly understand.
You have a point, I understand what you mean, but you dont experience it, so you dont know. Yet.
Miscommunication really sucks. Sucks when you're misunderstood, accused. Sucks when they take the opportunity to stab you. Sucks when they dont appreciate. Sucks when your good friend took sides against you. Sucks when they are standing at the corner, watching, laughing, criticising.
and like a fool, I pretend that I dont see.
and others. think I'm weird and thinking too much.
Yea.. I'm crazy and suffering from depression.
Haha, and I seriously thought we are special. I'm nothing.
Its just one of the days you'll lie on your chair, giving the numbed laughter and engaging in a moment of self pity.
From now on, never to think about this. Dont think any further to prevent any more hurt. I will enjoy my life loving myself and being so god-damned selfish.
Isolation starts from this very moment.
I like myself, my character and everything about me in my own little world with just me in it.
Finally, like everyone else I know, I'm going to be selfish for the benefit of my soul.
Its almost over now, and I guess now is the time to truly let go. There is no point in holding on to something you feel sad with. I cant walk on anymore, I'm paranoid, I'm depressed and I'm thinking too much.
Perhaps I read a little too much into things. But am I wrong? I think my reasoning makes sense, its not a stubborn thought. I'm just very confident about this. How sure are you? Someday in time you'll see what I see, know the secrets that I've been keeping and truly understand.
You have a point, I understand what you mean, but you dont experience it, so you dont know. Yet.
Miscommunication really sucks. Sucks when you're misunderstood, accused. Sucks when they take the opportunity to stab you. Sucks when they dont appreciate. Sucks when your good friend took sides against you. Sucks when they are standing at the corner, watching, laughing, criticising.
and like a fool, I pretend that I dont see.
and others. think I'm weird and thinking too much.
Yea.. I'm crazy and suffering from depression.
Haha, and I seriously thought we are special. I'm nothing.
Its just one of the days you'll lie on your chair, giving the numbed laughter and engaging in a moment of self pity.
From now on, never to think about this. Dont think any further to prevent any more hurt. I will enjoy my life loving myself and being so god-damned selfish.
Isolation starts from this very moment.
I like myself, my character and everything about me in my own little world with just me in it.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Oh no..
5th July. ( see mengli! I remembered to put the date!) =)
Haha, went to the library to do a little work today. It was a.. weird experience.
Firstly..
I shared the table with a lady at the cafe. After awhile her daughter(ard 5 yrs old) came over and...
daughter(looking at me): hello auntie something! (forgot what was it)
Me: ...
Lady: What auntie.. JIE JIE!
daughter(eyes still fixated on me): Oh.. But she look like auntie something!
Me: ...
After some time,
Lady: Erm.. what primary school or secondary school are you in?
Me: Errrr... I'm from JJ (I'm wearing JJ love fiesta btw)
Lady(awkward): Oh.. junior college...
Nice.
Well, at least on an average I look my age... =.=
Went Alexandra Village to have dinner with family. Saw the cute pc teacher with his wife. Awww.. they were holding hands like young couples on a date!
Now.. Talking about yesterday
Cool day at school! All we did was basketball and more basketball. So fun although I think I screamed more than I touched the ball.
:S
Went mayim for lunch, wow 10 of us! Its quite good, but I dont know whether its the company or the food. Maybe both. Haha. We exchanged numerous ghost stories as well. Seriously I think its really cute of guys to be afraid of the paranormal and admit it. Its always cute for guys to admit their flaws I guess, given their egoistic nature.
Then we head down to Mac and do what we girls do best. Chat. Chat. Chat. About chalet, about friends, about everything.
After which only me, linda, lengs, best and mengli were left doing nothing and dont wish to go home. Credit goes to mengli for inviting us to her hse for mahjong. Thanks man. Had fun!! Wasnt very lucky that day, just won a few rounds but ya, wasnt so bad! And her house is so freaking big and nice! I couldnt stop praising her place to my dad and insisting that he should consider toh guan!! Lols... Its really great and did I ever mentioned? Her sister is damn cool. She has got 'sense'. haha.. dont know how else to describe.
Haha, went to the library to do a little work today. It was a.. weird experience.
Firstly..
I shared the table with a lady at the cafe. After awhile her daughter(ard 5 yrs old) came over and...
daughter(looking at me): hello auntie something! (forgot what was it)
Me: ...
Lady: What auntie.. JIE JIE!
daughter(eyes still fixated on me): Oh.. But she look like auntie something!
Me: ...
After some time,
Lady: Erm.. what primary school or secondary school are you in?
Me: Errrr... I'm from JJ (I'm wearing JJ love fiesta btw)
Lady(awkward): Oh.. junior college...
Nice.
Well, at least on an average I look my age... =.=
Went Alexandra Village to have dinner with family. Saw the cute pc teacher with his wife. Awww.. they were holding hands like young couples on a date!
Now.. Talking about yesterday
Cool day at school! All we did was basketball and more basketball. So fun although I think I screamed more than I touched the ball.
:S
Went mayim for lunch, wow 10 of us! Its quite good, but I dont know whether its the company or the food. Maybe both. Haha. We exchanged numerous ghost stories as well. Seriously I think its really cute of guys to be afraid of the paranormal and admit it. Its always cute for guys to admit their flaws I guess, given their egoistic nature.
Then we head down to Mac and do what we girls do best. Chat. Chat. Chat. About chalet, about friends, about everything.
After which only me, linda, lengs, best and mengli were left doing nothing and dont wish to go home. Credit goes to mengli for inviting us to her hse for mahjong. Thanks man. Had fun!! Wasnt very lucky that day, just won a few rounds but ya, wasnt so bad! And her house is so freaking big and nice! I couldnt stop praising her place to my dad and insisting that he should consider toh guan!! Lols... Its really great and did I ever mentioned? Her sister is damn cool. She has got 'sense'. haha.. dont know how else to describe.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Motivation
Motivated to do many things starting from now. Ever since school reopened, it seemed like alot of things has changed. My environment, my lifestyle and my path. So its a good thing, at least for now. Yes, and I'm inspired to be a vegan, but dont think I have the determination to do so. After all, Its really hard to dine out with your friends and family unless you're willing to settle for a pathetic bowl of salad while the rest tuck in to their juicy steaks.. Gosh!
Heh Heh.. SUBWAY STUDENT MEAL is finally here in jurong point. Cold Cut regular meal for $5.50! Cheap!!
Haha, afew of us stayed behind after school today to relive our childhood by playing games like 'pepsi cola', 'iceman', 'eagle and the chicks', 'handiplast' and open numbers. Fun and we made hell of a noise.
Its all my fault. I should've known better.
PLease, keep my mouth shut.
Heh Heh.. SUBWAY STUDENT MEAL is finally here in jurong point. Cold Cut regular meal for $5.50! Cheap!!
Haha, afew of us stayed behind after school today to relive our childhood by playing games like 'pepsi cola', 'iceman', 'eagle and the chicks', 'handiplast' and open numbers. Fun and we made hell of a noise.
Its all my fault. I should've known better.
PLease, keep my mouth shut.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Nostalgure & a note to a friend
Was packing my stuff when I came across some of my secondary school pictures together with little gifts and dust-filled letters. Its quite shocking to see how much a person can change within a short few years and sad to say, mine is more of getting worse.. Of course, we'd hope to travel back in time and change certain things in life. Yet, the mistakes and follies of the past serve as a lesson and something you'll laugh about in years to come. A wonderful memory you might say.
Slap Slap, back to reality. Strive for tomorrow before it turns into history. =)
Some people dont understand me, yet its the people that does, matters most.
To a special someone:
I think in the midst of reading this, you'll probably realise that I'm talking about you. Recently, alot of things have changed and not everyone likes to just sit and watch. I will not engage in a conversation with you about this topic, because it seems that we'll never reach a consensus. A couple of months ago, you chose a path for yourself. You believed that it was the right one, so we respected your decision, and loved you all the same. But now, that this path draws you away from your friends, your usual self, it is getting worrying. We've had talks among ourselves, disagreements most of the time, and its hard to watch you drift away. Perhaps we do not have the best influence, but once upon a time, at least, you enjoyed our presence, just like we enjoyed yours. I'm not your closest friend, neither am I anywhere near, but I'm not blind, deaf and dumb. Therefore, I feel that as a friend, that I should attempt to pull you back, and tell you what I see and hear. Although you still laugh and joke, but there is a distance now, I hope you know.. You may not agree with me. Choose to ignore and walk away. But do remember we are always here if you decide to turn back someday.
Slap Slap, back to reality. Strive for tomorrow before it turns into history. =)
Some people dont understand me, yet its the people that does, matters most.
To a special someone:
I think in the midst of reading this, you'll probably realise that I'm talking about you. Recently, alot of things have changed and not everyone likes to just sit and watch. I will not engage in a conversation with you about this topic, because it seems that we'll never reach a consensus. A couple of months ago, you chose a path for yourself. You believed that it was the right one, so we respected your decision, and loved you all the same. But now, that this path draws you away from your friends, your usual self, it is getting worrying. We've had talks among ourselves, disagreements most of the time, and its hard to watch you drift away. Perhaps we do not have the best influence, but once upon a time, at least, you enjoyed our presence, just like we enjoyed yours. I'm not your closest friend, neither am I anywhere near, but I'm not blind, deaf and dumb. Therefore, I feel that as a friend, that I should attempt to pull you back, and tell you what I see and hear. Although you still laugh and joke, but there is a distance now, I hope you know.. You may not agree with me. Choose to ignore and walk away. But do remember we are always here if you decide to turn back someday.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
A couple of months ago, when my sister asked if I wanted to go Genting for a holiday and I said No. But now I just can wait, because after one week of stress-packed schedule, all you wanna do is to travel up to the highlands and grab some fresh air. Stress-free.
He msn-ed earlier. It is always at these unexpected times that it feels really good. Finally he thinks that army life isnt that great after all. Haiz. Hope he survives through. And as for me, it is never about 'should I wait?', why do we even have to ponder about this? I mean, if you cant put him down, then just continue on. Act how your heart feels.
Omg. Played Mahjong the whole night through. I kept having small wins which I initially thought was quite save, but my sis won a big one and swept all my winnings away. =.= Wells, it was fun.
Life is okay as it is right now, despite the occasional emo thoughts, I guess I'm a happier person.
He msn-ed earlier. It is always at these unexpected times that it feels really good. Finally he thinks that army life isnt that great after all. Haiz. Hope he survives through. And as for me, it is never about 'should I wait?', why do we even have to ponder about this? I mean, if you cant put him down, then just continue on. Act how your heart feels.
Omg. Played Mahjong the whole night through. I kept having small wins which I initially thought was quite save, but my sis won a big one and swept all my winnings away. =.= Wells, it was fun.
Life is okay as it is right now, despite the occasional emo thoughts, I guess I'm a happier person.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Zonked Out.
Ta da! I am still alive after 1 week of torture! How cool is that?! School has reopened and now we're in term 3, some mugging, me struggling.. =(
Monday:
A new timetable! Yes, now we can go home earlier which is a good thing because lectures are really not useful to me. Math was the first lesson and it was a demoralizing one because I realised that I couldnt do any of the questions (not that its surprising or anything) and having Junkai by your side, smirking at the fact that his 300 bucks tuition paid off is not exactly comforting. The day went on with someone who kept rattling on that I should buck up, which isnt a good way to start your school with. SO with experience, I recommend that one should start school isolating yourself. =)
Went starbucks Holland with the girls to study for our history test the next day. It started off being very productive because we have Linda around to go through with us the whole of China's economy with her exaggerated hand gestures. Lols. Went provence to get some bread and some of the girls left leaving me, Linda, SzeYing and Lengs, chatting away. We talked about alot of stuff, mainly revolving around friendships and I realised that I wasnt the only one without a 'best friend' and I wasnt the only one with failed friendships. I know its really silly to talk about this when there is a freaking heavy history test the next day, but it was seriously worth it, yet only to those who treasure friends more than anything else. I think its becoming a habit now, that we're grouping together going out as a clique to study, cause thats what its all about, enjoying the good times, enduring the bad times. We left at ard 10 and by then, I had alot of thoughts running through my mind. I'm sorry people, I'm just too afraid to voice out. =)
Tuesday:
I cant really remember tuesday. Just that we had history test and I didnt do well cause I wrote only 1 page for source based and I spotted china but japan came out. Zzz.. But its okay, we're not tested on spotting skills and its not like we can afford to spot for A lvls anyway. =S
Wednesday:
Went to westmall mac with the girls. Super not productive! Left after reading a few pages. Horrible. Didnt study when I got home. Horrible. horrible. Rot and Die.
Thursday:
Cant do math again. Zzz Yes I got that 'talk' again. Was abit pissed because I dont understand econs and I'm starting to hate closet muggers with the intention to harm others. Closet muggers are the worst things on earth. Singapore is full of closet muggers because of the increasing competition in the society. They are selfish and full of SH*T. Lols.. The whole day was full of crapping and basically making a fool out of myself.
Friday:
Very short day today. Had civics in the morning whereby we were given a prep talk. I look at all those courses and requirements. Yes, I got the 'talk' once again. I was wondering what course to take, but I really dont know. So I guess the best way is to wait for my results, then decide. Had econs, was abit better than yesterday. Went to Tanglin. Not bad quite cool. Its just very different. Went over to Isetan. They were having the hokkaido fair! Bought a 2 dollars rice cake with red bean. Sounds nice, looks nice, taste weird.. 0.0 Its too hard. but the red bean was ok. =)
Brought stiky to school today! He managed to capture lots of attention and brightened up my day too! =)
Starting to miss him alr, although its barely a mth since he left. Wished I could just get a goodnight msg. But who am I kidding. Ha..
I like to listen to stories, memories, and problems, because for awhile, I forget my own..
Monday:
A new timetable! Yes, now we can go home earlier which is a good thing because lectures are really not useful to me. Math was the first lesson and it was a demoralizing one because I realised that I couldnt do any of the questions (not that its surprising or anything) and having Junkai by your side, smirking at the fact that his 300 bucks tuition paid off is not exactly comforting. The day went on with someone who kept rattling on that I should buck up, which isnt a good way to start your school with. SO with experience, I recommend that one should start school isolating yourself. =)
Went starbucks Holland with the girls to study for our history test the next day. It started off being very productive because we have Linda around to go through with us the whole of China's economy with her exaggerated hand gestures. Lols. Went provence to get some bread and some of the girls left leaving me, Linda, SzeYing and Lengs, chatting away. We talked about alot of stuff, mainly revolving around friendships and I realised that I wasnt the only one without a 'best friend' and I wasnt the only one with failed friendships. I know its really silly to talk about this when there is a freaking heavy history test the next day, but it was seriously worth it, yet only to those who treasure friends more than anything else. I think its becoming a habit now, that we're grouping together going out as a clique to study, cause thats what its all about, enjoying the good times, enduring the bad times. We left at ard 10 and by then, I had alot of thoughts running through my mind. I'm sorry people, I'm just too afraid to voice out. =)
Tuesday:
I cant really remember tuesday. Just that we had history test and I didnt do well cause I wrote only 1 page for source based and I spotted china but japan came out. Zzz.. But its okay, we're not tested on spotting skills and its not like we can afford to spot for A lvls anyway. =S
Wednesday:
Went to westmall mac with the girls. Super not productive! Left after reading a few pages. Horrible. Didnt study when I got home. Horrible. horrible. Rot and Die.
Thursday:
Cant do math again. Zzz Yes I got that 'talk' again. Was abit pissed because I dont understand econs and I'm starting to hate closet muggers with the intention to harm others. Closet muggers are the worst things on earth. Singapore is full of closet muggers because of the increasing competition in the society. They are selfish and full of SH*T. Lols.. The whole day was full of crapping and basically making a fool out of myself.
Friday:
Very short day today. Had civics in the morning whereby we were given a prep talk. I look at all those courses and requirements. Yes, I got the 'talk' once again. I was wondering what course to take, but I really dont know. So I guess the best way is to wait for my results, then decide. Had econs, was abit better than yesterday. Went to Tanglin. Not bad quite cool. Its just very different. Went over to Isetan. They were having the hokkaido fair! Bought a 2 dollars rice cake with red bean. Sounds nice, looks nice, taste weird.. 0.0 Its too hard. but the red bean was ok. =)
Brought stiky to school today! He managed to capture lots of attention and brightened up my day too! =)
Starting to miss him alr, although its barely a mth since he left. Wished I could just get a goodnight msg. But who am I kidding. Ha..
I like to listen to stories, memories, and problems, because for awhile, I forget my own..
Friday, June 20, 2008
Goodbye Holidays~~
Goodbye holidays~~ I'll miss you.. Seriously.. Haiz! No more watching shows, no more waking up late, no more slacking at home. School is starting again. 6 more months to go before its finally over. We should treasure whatever school time we have left.... NO! I still dread going to school! I want my holidays!
I must take this time to watch watch watch all I can.. Muo Fan Bag Bang Tang here I come! Omg omg.. this show is making me laugh my heart out! A good laugh is really good for the soul.. YuppS!!! Everyone should watch! Haha! I think my dad thinks I'm too stressed up, laughing like a dork in front of the computer screen. Haha..
okay cant think of anything else to blog. Going back to watch my show! Woo hoo!!
I must take this time to watch watch watch all I can.. Muo Fan Bag Bang Tang here I come! Omg omg.. this show is making me laugh my heart out! A good laugh is really good for the soul.. YuppS!!! Everyone should watch! Haha! I think my dad thinks I'm too stressed up, laughing like a dork in front of the computer screen. Haha..
okay cant think of anything else to blog. Going back to watch my show! Woo hoo!!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Missing angels
Have you ever regretted, seriously regretted, losing a very good friend due to a moment of anger and stupidity? Welcome to the club.
I was scrolling down my msn list and right there was my 'used to be' good friend Adnan. The times spent were special because he was probably the only malay I was really good with. Not that I'm a racist or anything, but you know being 'chinesy' chinese , there arent alot of things to share especially music, entertainment and stuff. But,.. But the good thing was, he was very interested, or so he seems, in the chinese culture, and like some people may argue, this idea of unfamiliarity actually makes the friendship more interesting. He was a very good friend who accompanied me whenever I'm alone (which is like, most of the times) and like 'brother' he was the spontaneous kind(although he lost to brother by a bit), so he is very easy to call out and talk to. He also has a very good sense of humour (better than mine, but only a little), very funny.
So there was this small misunderstanding before our secondary school gathering before Ghim Moh collapsed, which I didnt turn up. I remember that there was a few days in which I totally ignored him until he finally gave up. As time passed, we never made up and just drifted apart as miraculously as how we first became good friends.
And that is how I lost an angel.. Haha....
Whahahaha... Die. never study today again! Bought this new channel [Asia Plus]. They have [Kai Yun Wan Shi Tong], some Taiwan show that talks about star signs and other stuff. Cool man.
By the way, ya, Sex and the City is a really good show, do not be misled by the title, it is not just a 'shallow' plot with explicit contents. :)
I was scrolling down my msn list and right there was my 'used to be' good friend Adnan. The times spent were special because he was probably the only malay I was really good with. Not that I'm a racist or anything, but you know being 'chinesy' chinese , there arent alot of things to share especially music, entertainment and stuff. But,.. But the good thing was, he was very interested, or so he seems, in the chinese culture, and like some people may argue, this idea of unfamiliarity actually makes the friendship more interesting. He was a very good friend who accompanied me whenever I'm alone (which is like, most of the times) and like 'brother' he was the spontaneous kind(although he lost to brother by a bit), so he is very easy to call out and talk to. He also has a very good sense of humour (better than mine, but only a little), very funny.
So there was this small misunderstanding before our secondary school gathering before Ghim Moh collapsed, which I didnt turn up. I remember that there was a few days in which I totally ignored him until he finally gave up. As time passed, we never made up and just drifted apart as miraculously as how we first became good friends.
And that is how I lost an angel.. Haha....
Whahahaha... Die. never study today again! Bought this new channel [Asia Plus]. They have [Kai Yun Wan Shi Tong], some Taiwan show that talks about star signs and other stuff. Cool man.
By the way, ya, Sex and the City is a really good show, do not be misled by the title, it is not just a 'shallow' plot with explicit contents. :)
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Ok, its a little too much
Haha. Reviewing my first post, I think its really too emo. So here I am, blogging about happier stuffs to 'neutralise' my blog.
Shasha's birthday! But because every one else blogged about it already. SO I'm not going to provide a chronological order of what we did and so on because you can always refer to the other blogs if you havent done so already. :) Therefore, its all about photos for today!!
Ktv @ OCBC
Big specs are really the 'IN' thing right now.
Junkai as [Fang da tong]
I'm always jealous of them because..
despite my efforts to look good in pictures, I always end up like this.
YY. She should be a superstar!
I make the best cards! Haha. Ok wanqing is Second. WHahaha..
Reminds me of [badloser.blogspot.com] Humph!
Now at Clarke Quay
Lengs and her fetish for hairs.. Yuck.
Erm.. ??
See the resemblence?
Omg! they look so compatible here! Dont you agree?!
Sometimes it gets a little tiring..
OKay! Thats it!
Haha... Took me a few hrs okay!! Tired.. shall go rest now..
Saturday, June 14, 2008
I'm sorry it turned out this way
It took me awhile to decide what my first post should be. Then I thought it should be of an issue that is closest to the heart. Somehow fate had a part in the decision making process as I happened to quarrel with my mum today. So this post is about family.
Family is the most important thing in my life among all the other important stuff such as friends and all that. (Yes, my friends are reading this. :x) I would gladly give up my life for theirs and I've never doubted this.
Since young, my elder sis was the trouble kid. She was always mixing around with the wrong company, doing stupid stunts and basically the rebellious one who makes everyone of us worried. My younger sis, on the other extreme, came out not quite as expected. Yes, as you all already know, intellectually disabled, to put it nicely. Like my elder sis she creates trouble too, although unintentionally. So at the back of my head, I've always told myself not to be an additional burden to the family, although it is not always appreciated. My parents often quarrel and I'm always trying to be a peacemaker between my dad and my mum, my sis and my mum, my dad and my sis. Yea, you get the gist. So I've had names like two headed snake, faker and all that. Crude remarks by family members arent the easiest to deal with. Sensitive I must admit I am, yet I think that sensitivity works its best when the issue is most important. Dont you agree?
So being the 'peacelover' aka [guai kia] of the family, the worst thing is negligence. Because I was never the main issue. That I didnt mind, but it did affect me a little when my parents do too much for my sister, when they had to accomodate her. In the family, I play the role of [The listener], always hearing what they have to say about each other, about work, etc. So I dont really have anyone to talk to at home. All I do is sit in front of the computer, admiring other peoples' lives.
Today, I quarrel with my mum over the silliest issue, university education. I was angry because it didnt seem to be about me, but all about her and reputation. Is it so important to introduce yourself as an NUS student? It hurts me more that she thinks she knows it all when she doesnt. The breaking point was when we talked about money. She told me what she wanted to get for my sis and my sister's boyfriend and I merely said " whoa, my birthday you also never give me that much" and blah.. that was it. My mum started comparing with the fact that I gave her a cheap massager whereas my sister gave her money. My sister's boyfriend gave her money as well. She cares about her more. I'm hot tempered and rude. I'm a bad daughter. My sister was right when she told her never to depend on me when she is old, and stuff like that. Initially, it didnt hurt me much. It was only when I started remembering the times I stood up for her and comparing it to the times she stood up for me did I start pitying myself, and that triggered the anger. So my day was ruined with me ignoring her. I was hurt, when after all I had done, nobody appreciates. I was sad, of all the times I spoke up for my sister, she told my mum to never depend on me. I was angry, that I try so hard to persuade my sis to not leave the house, that we should appreciate our parents for all they've done and what did I get in the end?!
But instead of anger, today was more of guilt. Because I quarrelled with my mother. Because today we were all supposed to celebrate father's day and I'm not there. Because I stubbornly stayed in the room despite my father's calls to 'give him face and go'. So I'm sad. It was never hate but hurt. Yet no one understands.
I have to confess though, that this only applies on a nuclear level. Extended family, I have to admit, I've never played a fillial role as a granddaughter. I will always remember the day I lost my grandfather. His love for me, recipocrated by my disgusting actions. To this date, it remains as a haunting memory that never fails to bring me down. My life is full of regrets, and this one is the worst.
Family is the most important thing in my life among all the other important stuff such as friends and all that. (Yes, my friends are reading this. :x) I would gladly give up my life for theirs and I've never doubted this.
Since young, my elder sis was the trouble kid. She was always mixing around with the wrong company, doing stupid stunts and basically the rebellious one who makes everyone of us worried. My younger sis, on the other extreme, came out not quite as expected. Yes, as you all already know, intellectually disabled, to put it nicely. Like my elder sis she creates trouble too, although unintentionally. So at the back of my head, I've always told myself not to be an additional burden to the family, although it is not always appreciated. My parents often quarrel and I'm always trying to be a peacemaker between my dad and my mum, my sis and my mum, my dad and my sis. Yea, you get the gist. So I've had names like two headed snake, faker and all that. Crude remarks by family members arent the easiest to deal with. Sensitive I must admit I am, yet I think that sensitivity works its best when the issue is most important. Dont you agree?
So being the 'peacelover' aka [guai kia] of the family, the worst thing is negligence. Because I was never the main issue. That I didnt mind, but it did affect me a little when my parents do too much for my sister, when they had to accomodate her. In the family, I play the role of [The listener], always hearing what they have to say about each other, about work, etc. So I dont really have anyone to talk to at home. All I do is sit in front of the computer, admiring other peoples' lives.
Today, I quarrel with my mum over the silliest issue, university education. I was angry because it didnt seem to be about me, but all about her and reputation. Is it so important to introduce yourself as an NUS student? It hurts me more that she thinks she knows it all when she doesnt. The breaking point was when we talked about money. She told me what she wanted to get for my sis and my sister's boyfriend and I merely said " whoa, my birthday you also never give me that much" and blah.. that was it. My mum started comparing with the fact that I gave her a cheap massager whereas my sister gave her money. My sister's boyfriend gave her money as well. She cares about her more. I'm hot tempered and rude. I'm a bad daughter. My sister was right when she told her never to depend on me when she is old, and stuff like that. Initially, it didnt hurt me much. It was only when I started remembering the times I stood up for her and comparing it to the times she stood up for me did I start pitying myself, and that triggered the anger. So my day was ruined with me ignoring her. I was hurt, when after all I had done, nobody appreciates. I was sad, of all the times I spoke up for my sister, she told my mum to never depend on me. I was angry, that I try so hard to persuade my sis to not leave the house, that we should appreciate our parents for all they've done and what did I get in the end?!
But instead of anger, today was more of guilt. Because I quarrelled with my mother. Because today we were all supposed to celebrate father's day and I'm not there. Because I stubbornly stayed in the room despite my father's calls to 'give him face and go'. So I'm sad. It was never hate but hurt. Yet no one understands.
I have to confess though, that this only applies on a nuclear level. Extended family, I have to admit, I've never played a fillial role as a granddaughter. I will always remember the day I lost my grandfather. His love for me, recipocrated by my disgusting actions. To this date, it remains as a haunting memory that never fails to bring me down. My life is full of regrets, and this one is the worst.
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