A reply to a comment

Here's what I have to say:

There has been a thousand things going through my mind recently. On certain days I dont even feel like talking, doing work or even move.
I thank you for the comment, but I must admit, your words do hurt.
Because I feel that you dont understand.. still.
My greatest regret was to pour out all my feelings, because it made things worse.
I wished I could just endure a little longer, but I cant.
Cause it hurts and nobody understands.

People like to help when they see their friends having problems, but sometimes, its good to ask first before you confront the other party.
Now I cant help but feel a little awkward when I am talking to you guys.
And sometimes all we want is just a listening ear.
Nothing more.

I do care alot
and thats why I am unhappy.
I didnt want to say it, cause I know it'll leak
and true enough.
I know, 'dont think too much' is all you'll say
But have you all thought about it......'CAN I??'
There is a reason why I see things the way they are.
Nobody can be sure if I'm thinking too much or if its really as I've said
Thats the way I am.

I notice little actions
Because they tell the truth.
Unexpectedly
And deliberate actions, are just how the person wants to portray themselves as.

I'm not trying to act philosophical here, just trying to make you understand me.
I'm not the 'what you see is what you get' kind of person.
So you may think I'm weird, scary and not very approachable.
Because I hardly relate my feelings to others, but recently I've been opening up.

DIdnt work

I'm sorry for scaring you today. Was feeling abit pissed so my tone became a little harsh, although I didnt mean for it to come out this way.

I do not want to salvage anything because it is useless.
not because I dont care.
If I didnt care I wouldnt feel so sad.
I wouldnt have to waste the tears.
I wouldnt have to stare at my work with my head and heart somewhere else.
and ironically, I was sad because I thought others didnt care.

Life, takes you by the hand, then throws you off the cliff.

I'm on bad terms with almost everyone now. Friends I used to treasure very much.
A part of me doesnt want to remain like this. So I dont want any changes because I'll get sad again.. Then whats the point? Maybe its my fault and my emo, over reacting thoughts and actions. But thats just me. WHY DOESNT ANYONE UNDERSTAND?!

Ignorance is BLISS. Insensitivity is JOY.