Another year gone

Happy New Year everyone! It has been a tough year but I'm glad we've managed to pull through.
About this year, hmm, I can only say I've come to know myself better, and have come to accept myself for who I am. So I can conclude that this year is very important for if I were to skip 2008, I would still be the one with the mask, struggling to fit in.

Special thanks to my clique, I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude. It was through you guys that I feel that for once I can be myself without having to feel weird. Because we accept differences and never impose our views on others, I feel very comfortable when I'm with you guys.
Leng Shan, thanks for being there and supporting me, especially during the period when I was facing some friendship problems. Bestia, thanks for being the sensitive and enthusiastic member of the clique. Although you always exceed your free sms-es, you still continue to keep us updated on the upcoming events. ShaSha, I always felt that we had alot in common so its very easy for me to speak up knowing that somebody understands. So thank you as well. Linda, it takes a super high friend for me to be super high as well. So whenever I'm with you, I'll be super happy and will always cheer up(you know how emo I can get). Thanks. Sze Ying, we know you care even though you arent always there. We'll never blame you because we know that you'll feel sorry that you cant be there for our outings already. Thank you for organising parties at your place. Its very troublesome but you were always ok with it. Meng Li, thanks for all the Bang Bang Tang talks cause you're probably the only person I know who watches it. LOLS. Seok Peng, recently, we've drifted apart, there are so many reasons but I know there is no need for explanations, I'm just glad that you've weijian as your good friend now. YY, although the times spent was very short, I'm glad you joined us. Really enjoyed those times at starbucks and Mac. Weijian, I've known you the longest, although not the closest, a big thank you to you too for encouraging me during As and being the only guy in our clique, I know its not easy, sometimes a little awkward but you make it a point to turn up for most outings. Although there were times when I felt that you didnt treasure the friendship, I eventually became more optimistic. So thank you. =)

Not forgetting friends I have way before the clique:
Brother: I know you will most probably not see this, but I just want to say I'm really glad to have you as a bro and a very good friend. I remember we had a huge fight and we didnt talk for about 6 months. Thankfully we reconciled and started talking again. Ironically though, the first day I started talking to you, YOU GAVE ME CHICKEN POX and I had to stay home for 2 weeks. =.= Haha. I had alot of fun laughing at you. Thanks for being the butt of our jokes. We had fun. Whahaha... The things you say just make me, joleen and gus wanna laugh at you. haha.. Jason and his Macsoso.. Hmm... What to say, we've shown the rest that a guy and a girl can be pure friends despite the futile attempts by Jiawhei to push us tgt(I dont know why). Anyways! I am most comfortable with you because you'll always allow me to be myself! Thanks!
Joleen: Hey girl! We've known each other since sec 1. Remember? You were carrying a briefcase to camp and I kept laughing at you even till now? =)) I'm sorry I couldnt make it for the VB outing, next time ok?! =) You have like the best personality ever and everyone loves you.. So I am very glad to be your friend. You're never angry! Its almost as if I'm acid and you're alkaline, neutralising the atmosphere. I really enjoy the times spent with you gus and jason. Hope this lasts forever!
Gus: We are probably not the closest among this small little group but you're like the leader, and I dont really know why. Haha.. Sorry that we were so indecisive, We'll try to do some serious planning before the next outing~!

Also, my new friends at work, HELLO! Just wanna say I'm really glad to know you all! Work is alot more interesting when you guys are around. Please keep in contact and ask us out soon!!Jesline, my SiSTER!! I really think you're a very warm and funny person! No one can be really sad and angry with you around. Haha, dont get bullied by Jun Yao too often ya?!

2008 will serve as turning point of my growing up journey and a significant part of my memory. I love you all and hope that year 2009 will be as good or even better. Happy new year everyone! Every year has its ups and downs but together we'll get through the tough times and create many wonderful memories. =) Looking forward to 2009 with our clique chalet the first event on the list. =)

My Sunday

Hello. Here I am at 10 pm on a beautiful Sunday night, proudly announcing to the whole world that I spent the whole of today watching shows via the internet, cooped up in my little room where I am most comfortable and safe.

Yes, basically I slacked my whole day away. lalalalala...

Whohohoho... Now, a little time indulging in my own fantasies:
Like almost every other teenage girl or maybe even older, I am now obssessed with Twilight and am about to embark in the second book, New Moon. My only regret is that I did not get to catch it in the theater where the effect would have been much greater. Still my love is as strong for a romantic, bloodsucking, super suave immortal whom is willing to die for the love of his life (the catch is..though, errm..he cant die).
I mean, who doesnt yearn for a man to love a woman so much so that he is willing to sacrifice anything just to protect her?! Plus, the fact that everyone is so attracted to this movie clearly shows the lack of existence of such 'GOOD' men. Yes, no doubt, good guys are nearly extinct, where 'nearly' is an understatement to avoid being marked down for fallacies. Goodbye fairytales, we know you dont exist. But at least it gave us hope (with the exception of Sha of course, totally extreme in her point of view), well at least it gave me hope, I'm still looking for my Mr sharp-fanged Edward, but with the consideration that I dont look anything like Bella, I'll accept even if he is less hot~!! Romance aside, the movie, although I've heard many comments that it wasnt as good as the book, etc, its good too!! Lets give the production crew and actors some effort for all the special effects which cannot be truly experienced with a couple of paragraphs from a book off the shelf. I'll bet it took Robert and the crews countless of effort trying to get him to spring from tree to tree carrying 'Bella' on his back looking the least bit tired.

Haha. So the movie is great and my small little paragraph ends here as I have to spend the rest of tonight finally stepping out of the house to get something in the newly opened supermarket! Enough of those fantasies, and tomorrow I shall resume my rigid work life secretly hoping to see Superman fly past someday.

me me me me

Quarrelled with my mum today. Again. Probably because I had too much time at home to engage in some meaningless verbal 'entertainment'. I hate it when my mum ends it with 'I'm not a good mum', because I'll be so guilty and I cant put all the blame on her. So the fault is on me right now. Sad and filled with guilt, all I can do is blog.
Wanted to swim but the pool is crowded with judgemental 'skin and bones people'. So my whole day is ruin with nothing to do.
I know it was wrong to argue but I still do it. I cant control myself. I detest and abhor myself.
Yes, I'm so proud.
I'm too defensive.
I'm, of course, very sensitive.
I doubt I'll ever have good friends.
I secretly wished I didnt have such a good life. So I have other things to complain about than my family.
I've never allowed anyone into my world.
They either cant or dont bother.
I'm narcissistic.
I love myself too much.
I hate portraits of myself. So untrue.
I'm a devil inside. I know.
I cant set my mind right.
I'm so filled with flaws
and yet I think I'm perfect at times. All the time.
I'm going crazy soon. And I blame it on the genes.
Its never my fault.
Ha, what a daughter
Ha, I shouldnt be here.

Happy Birthday Jason!

It is 3am and here I am, fat like shit from all that beer. Sinful~~
Really enjoyed myself today. Havent had a gathering in years!!

Going Suntanning tmr and gotta wake up at 6 plus. Dont really think I'll be able to make it. =S

Off to watch my drama serials!

What have I been doing?

With Sarah and WoonTing

Victoria and SiewPing

Webster. He should be the prom king lar!

The famous four

The "Gang"

Not forgetting to be unglam. Just a little.

eh? Same pic.. Haha.

Lonely and self-entertaining.

A little blur.. HAHA..

We look better when its BLURRED.

Nth much to say.

boring dinner. Linda is gone again!!

Hello!~ I've been enjoying every single day, engaging myself in fulfilling activities so that I do not have time to emo my life away and regret later. Glad to announce that I'm loving every minute. OKay lar, not really but almost.. =D

OK to start of with the most significant, I went to the prom. Although I cant really boast to Szeying and Lengs that they are going to regret not going, I can only say that its really an experience. Marking a point in your life. Meaningless, meaningful.. You decide.

My prom experience was one of mixed feelings. I was glad that I didnt have to spend extra money on make up and hair-do like the rest and was able to come up with something decent. I think I overdressed, abit, but its ok. The food was quite good. At least there wasnt much to complain lar.

I think the fun part was more of the shopping part rather than the day itself. Through prom, I was able to spend more time with my friends, esp bestia cause she was my shopping partner and all those friendship talks was really interesting and meaningful.

The day itself was only eating and photo taking. Phototaking was sick because I didnt have much friends and I was very much in my own world which was one of the driving point which encouraged me not to go for prom. My prediction came true and I had to keep myself busy most of the time so as not to feel so weird.

But if there is anything really bad... Its the 'after' activities. I guess Bestia, Linda and Shasha all know WHY!! I'm sorry. I'm really very disappointed that we couldnt go to Balcony because we had all discussed about this. I cant stand roaming ard the streets and go seven eleven to buy drinks like underage kids pretending to be like adults. Then having no where to rest, the four pathetic girls roam somemore to find a seat along the stairs with our heels. Its pathetic and it shouldnt be the case when we've done serious planning. I'm not going to pretend to be Miss Understanding and I'm going to remain pissed for the next few days!!! I'm not going to ton anymore outside when we dont have a proper place to rest. period.

Was talking to Bestia and ShaSha and Bestia brought up the fact that now that its holidays and all, the clique will be quite separated. Actually I think this is a pretty good thing. I know ppl reading this may have some doubts but look at it this way, we've always encountered problems defining our clique because we assume that the ppl we are with in school is our clique but yet some of them are not really there for outings and all. SInce its the holidays, take this opportunity to see who remains and who leaves. Separation does not mean the end, it'll only make things clearer. I personally feel that if she is a friend, you dont even have to try to contact her because she is always there. Thats just how I feel la. Plus, taking friendship out of school also allows you to choose your company. So I like the holidays. I'm surrounded by those whom I wanna be with and I enjoy their company!! =D

Here I want to clarify that although I do have some strong views against certain issues, I am not always stubborn in my point of view. Certain things I'm able to give and take and hear a second opinion. I dont feel that being stubborn is bad, but I am not always stubborn as well. Definitely I will fight for my point. I mean, who doesnt feel that their point is right? But I like to listen to other opinions (thats what conversations are for right?) PLus, Yes, I do detest ppl who judge me without knowing anything about me.

Right now, I'm pondering whether I'm actually bothered by insensitivity.. hmm..