Quarrelled with my mum today. Again. Probably because I had too much time at home to engage in some meaningless verbal 'entertainment'. I hate it when my mum ends it with 'I'm not a good mum', because I'll be so guilty and I cant put all the blame on her. So the fault is on me right now. Sad and filled with guilt, all I can do is blog.
Wanted to swim but the pool is crowded with judgemental 'skin and bones people'. So my whole day is ruin with nothing to do.
I know it was wrong to argue but I still do it. I cant control myself. I detest and abhor myself.
Yes, I'm so proud.
I'm too defensive.
I'm, of course, very sensitive.
I doubt I'll ever have good friends.
I secretly wished I didnt have such a good life. So I have other things to complain about than my family.
I've never allowed anyone into my world.
They either cant or dont bother.
I'm narcissistic.
I love myself too much.
I hate portraits of myself. So untrue.
I'm a devil inside. I know.
I cant set my mind right.
I'm so filled with flaws
and yet I think I'm perfect at times. All the time.
I'm going crazy soon. And I blame it on the genes.
Its never my fault.
Ha, what a daughter
Ha, I shouldnt be here.
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