On certain occasions, I wished I was a social butterfly. Then I could so naturally fit in to a crowd and have a great time with people I'm not really close with. But it is also at this point in time, I look upon myself as a desperate individual, trying too hard to be someone else.

I miss my clique, I really do.. Because I dont have to pretend to be entertained, I can sit aside without feeling left out and I can do whatever I want and still be accepted. Yet, I cant always rely on them. The tough reality says I have to move on.

Timbre was overrated. I thought the band was so-so. The only thing good was the pizza, which I only ate like one piece and had to pay 25 bucks. So I went home broke, awkward and dead. As I was changing into comfortable clothes and cleaning up, it felt as if I had taken off my mask as well. It felt seriously comfortable and nothing feels better.

Its hard trying to be someone else, but its harder to make friends when you dont pretend to have common interests. Haha. Confusing as it sounds, it is pretty logical.

I'm glad I'm having teppanyaki at SY's hse tmr, then we can have a really good time catching up just being myself. We could all have a good time laughing at Bestia and playing games like theres no tomorrow...

I cant sleep tonight, basically because I dont want to. I'm still feeling a little awkward and I need to listen to some jazz to bring back good ol' Stella Porky Tang!